Somehow this stain on my heart is the mark of an intense longing for adventure, and beauty.
And if I'm really honest, I crave moments... I long for innocence...the purity of an unblemished heart...
...the full moon on a balmy night in July...
...the crickets chirping in the silence of an evening...
...children's laughter on a playground...
...orangish pink sunsets cascading over a majestic sea...
I long for a lover's hand...the tender palm and the inner wrist...sweet exhalation due to an overload of the senses...
I cringe when I think of what our world has become... cluttered with marketing tactics, porn, relativity, hatred, and clutter.
I miss eight years old, because I was excited, every day, to see the sun rise, hear the birds chirp, imagine myself as a beautiful actress, dance on the back patio of my tiny little Farmbrook Drive house, listen to Stevie Nicks, and Olivia "fig" Newton John, over and over and over, roller skate in the driveway, and truly relish in the beauty of simplicity.
I miss those days, and I have done everything in my power to keep my innocence and my life as simple as possible.
I keep a photo of my 3 year old little girl, taped to my mirror. Everyday I remind myself to live life like "she" would...full of wonder, full of excitement, full of boldness, and vulnerability. And lately, I have held her in my arms, as a parent would, and said,
"Sweet child, you are precious and lovely, and I protect you. You are loved, and WE got this. We are ok. We are great. Be excited."
I kiss her forehead, and then I put on my "adult suit," and go out into the big bad world, and fight for her, and for what's important. What is pure and innocent and GOOD.
How profound and beautiful! Very vivid and true. Thank you for being so transparent and vulnerable here. If only more people longed for those sweet innocent days of yore - what this world would become! Well, I too must now put on my "adult suit" and go tackle the issue at hand. The kitty potties aren't gonna clean themselves ya know. But I will take your words to heart and apply them to my situation. I think a few pop rocks in the litter boxes should do the trick.
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time, Leigh, and yes, I see the innocent girl in you too. That sweet, jovial spirit that shines through every time we meet. i love you.
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